Southern Hospitality

I've lived in Illinois now for 7 1/2 years. That's 7 1/2 years longer than I ever expected. My husband and I moved here in November of 2001 when his job transferred us to this area....this area being O'Fallon, IL which is about 20 minutes from downtown St. Louis. Good place to be if you don't want to live in the big city and would prefer to skip all that crazy traffic yet, still close enough to be able to attend big city events like baseball games, concerts, and art shows. Anyway, like I said I never actually thought we'd be here for this long but life happens and here we are...still.

I've actually gotten used to the area and I've had the opportunity to make some amazing friends. Friends that would be EXTREMELY hard to leave if and when we decide to move back home to Arkansas. Since I've gotten to know the area better I'm more comfortable and it's really grown on me. I owned a business here for 3 1/2 years which gave me the opportunity to meet a lot of people and learn more about the town I live in. There are still a lot of things I miss about Arkansas that I don't find here but for the most part I really enjoy my life here now. I just have one complaint that I don't think I'll EVER get used to.....the lack of Southern Hospitality.

When your born and raised in the South, especially in a town like Fayetteville, AR, you get spoiled with polite conversation and encounters with kind, agreeable people. As a matter of fact, you come to expect certain things. For example, people smiling and waving for no reason, employees in local shops being helpful and all around pleasant, and hearing "hi ya'll" every time you turn the corner. Nice, cordial people being nice and cordial for no reason at all. Just because.

I miss these people. Not to say that I don't have good people in my life here because I do. As I said before I have amazing friends (to all of my friends reading this please don't be offended...of course I'm not talking about you). It's the people you don't know that can really get under your skin. In the Mid-West if they don't know you, they don't see any point in wasting a smile on you. Or, if they are nice to you up front I've learned that it's not necessarily because they want to be but because they need to be for selfish reasons. Many a time I've been fooled by the up-front-nice-guy that later turned on me. It's baffling. All the sudden it's like that girl on The Exorcist...head's spin and an evil comes out that you didn't know existed. Ok, maybe I'm exaggerating a teeny bit but I'm always a little thrown by how quickly someone here has stabbed me in the back without batting an eyelash. I guess that's just what happens in business. At least in the South we mask it with charm and civility leaving the victim with a false sense of accomplishment. We wouldn't want them to walk away hating us afterall! (said with a southern accent)

Having a couple of friends from the South helps. They understand how I feel about certain things and we can easily talk about how different things are around here. For example, my friend from Alabama understands SEC football and how it's actually a religion in the South. Not a sport. People schedule things like weddings and parties around football games. If you plan your wedding on the same day as an Arkansas Razorback football game then that's your problem when no one shows up. Comply with the rules of the South or get over it! I also have a friend from Texas. Every event we go to with the girls seems to reveal some sort of Mid-Western ritual we've never seen. We just look at our other friends and say, "We don't do that in the South" (tip head and stick nose in the air here). At this point I should just consider myself lucky that my Mid-West girlfriends haven't disowned me considering I always talk about how great everything is below the Mason-Dixon line.

Thanks girls for putting up with my Southern banter!! Love ya'll (yes, I said ya'll)!!

My Daily Entertainment

I'm compelled to tell a story about my sweet boy, Neeman. Dog not child. No matter, he's mine, he's adorable, and for those that know him know what a gentle giant he is. Neeman is our yellow Lab and he has no idea how big he is. I can't say he's the smartest dog around but his personality more than makes up for his lack of intelligence.

The other day my husband came home from work and, as always, was assaulted by the dogs at the door. Although sometimes it can be painful, I consider this to be the best feeling in the world. Being greeted everyday with such enthusiasm and warmth. Unconditional love and appreciation that just radiates from their furry faces and wagging tails. As far as the painful part, I admittedly have my share of bruises covering my legs from these welcoming attacks.

Anyway, that particular day Jason noticed something was different. Before being attacked he not only heard the gallop of Neeman's large paws nearing but also a banging and pounding of something ramming into the wall with each step Neeman took. Now maybe I should preface this with the fact that Labrador's get very hot in the summer. They're big and have a really thick undercoat so the "dog days of summer" is no joke when it comes to this loving breed. For this reason, Neeman likes to sleep right on top of the air conditioning vents to stay cool.

Back to the story. As soon as Neeman gets near, Jason sees something swinging from his neck. At first glance, Jason is thinking maybe I tied something to his collar as a gift or chore for him (most likely the latter). This isn't such a stretch because we both have been known to use Neeman for little things around the house. For example, running outside to get the newspaper or going to the bottom of the stairs outside to fetch a toy he left in the yard. He is also always willing to transport things from me to Jason or vice versa when one of us is on the couch and the other on the chaise. After all he's got to earn his keep.

Well upon further investigation, and after getting the dog to calm down, Jason discovered one of our floor vents hanging from Neeman's neck! I so wish I had been there! His dog tags had somehow gotten twisted down into the vent and he now was wearing it as a necklace. The part about it that I love the most is that it went completely unnoticed by the dog himself. He was just so happy that Daddy was home the fact that a heavy, metal object was dangling from his collar didn't even phase him!

So in honor of Neeman here are a few pictures I'd like to share....if only I'd gotten a picture of the incident!

Unnerved

One of the down sides to not having a job....I've noticed the news is on ALL THE TIME. I keep my TV on pretty much all day and because of this I tend to see the news about 3 times a day. I don't necessarily watch the whole newscast, I just hear bits and pieces as I pass by while doing chores around the house. Unfortunately, this is enough to be unnerved by what I hear. It seems to me that there have been more shootings in the past few months than usual (I hate that there is even a "usual"). As we speak the news anchor is talking about the shooting at the Holocaust Museum in Washington D.C. A couple of days ago we had a shooting at a local, and very popular bar downtown. The week before that a police officer was shot and just last night a teenager was at the park and was shot in the neck.

Perhaps the one that hit closest to home involved a man I didn't even know. It impacted me because the victim was a very good friend of some of my good friends. I never met him but it was made clear to me what a good man he was because my friends all loved him so. He was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. A victim of circumstance. The bullets weren't meant for him but for others he was with. For this act of cruel revenge he gave his life. The pain my friends have had to bear for the past week is tragic.

What is wrong with people? It makes me sick to think about what could be going through the mind of everyone I pass on the street. Or for that matter, the neighbor down the street that I don't know well. It's no wonder so many people in our world live in constant fear. A fear that can be so encompassing they can't leave their homes. I hate to be such a downer but sometimes I just can't bear to hear the news. I don't want to imagine a world so vile that stepping out of my front door is more of a chance I take than an opportunity to savor. Very sad.

I've gotta get a job because the news is really bringing me down!

Unwelcome Guests

I've noticed a lot of talk about Spring lately. People blogging about the beauty of it, people mentioning the welcome warmth of it on their Facebook status, and of course the weather people on television taking credit for it (what is that all about anyway? I actually heard our local meteorologist saying we could 'thank him' for the upcoming beautiful weather. Weird.).

Anyway, I love Spring as much as the next person. It breathes life into us and gives us new hope that we can tackle those unfinished projects or start new ones. It revitalizes us and gets us out of the house offering a new, fresh outlook on things. But.....it brings with it some VERY unwelcome guests. Wasps. As strange as it sounds they are the cause of my dread each Spring. I have a fear of wasps that is unrivaled. I don't know where it came from but there is something about a small stinging insect that has the ability to fly quickly and out of reach that unnerves me. Now, I've mentioned before that I'm a big animal lover. I believe all living things big and small should be respected and treated valuable. As part of this belief I try to avoid harming any living being so, for example, when I see a spider I try to catch it and throw it outside. I do this with most all insects. But a wasp I will spray or squash as quickly as possible without a second thought.

My friends and family make fun of me when they see my reaction to one of these winged warriors. I jump and run inside as fast as possible and just peer out the window until it's either gone or dead. The amazing thing is my ability to see one from a distance. It doesn't matter where I am or what the situation, if a wasp is anywhere in the general vicinity I will see it long before it gets near and follow it closely while quietly and tactically planning my escape. My husband thinks I'm crazy. Half of the time I warn him of an incoming stinger he never even sees it. And if he does he knows to just wait for me to flip out and run before he can actually do anything about it.

A few days ago I noticed that they seem to be coming in droves so I let him know that we may have a wasp problem this Spring. He wasn't concerned. He just attributed it to my paranoia that all wasps will eventually take over the world and shrugged it off. Then, I heard my next door neighbor talking about it and that they recently had to have someone come out and spray. I was so happy to hear this because now I have proof and reason to call the insect people without my husband questioning my sanity. I better call tomorrow or this could be a long summer of ducking and running!

My Faithful Followers

I've had a few friends tell me I need to write more because they enjoy reading my blog. You have no idea how much I appreciate this. Unfortunately, I seem to be suffering from some sort of writer's block. Every since March 21st (closing day) I haven't had much to say. I thought all kinds of emotions would be flowing out of me onto my blog but the exact opposite has happened. I'm a bit numb. For this, I apologize.

This too shall pass.....



Wassily Kandinsky

A New Beginning

"It is what it is." I have found this to be my new favorite expression. My husband and I have just gone through what one might call a "life change". We have each had to make a note of our monetary value, add up our IOU's, and make some business decisions that we didn't want to make. It's never fun finding out what you're worth (or not worth) on paper.

After much deliberation, I have had to close my business. A dream I had for years. A career in the only industry I know. My husband also had to stop operations in his franchise. We opened two businesses together in the same year and closed them together 3 1/2 years later. Luckily, we are a good team and without each other I don't know that we would've survived it all.

It was unfortunate that he had to stop operations but for him that's all it was. He quit working the territory and that was it. I don't mean to down play his situation in any way because with any business closure comes the feeling of failure. I just had a different experience than he did. I had to close a brick and mortar store and it was a very public event. Customers cried, I cried, vendors said how sorry they were, and friends looked at me with such sorrow.

They asked, "How are you handling it?" And I answered, "I'll be ok...it is what it is." They asked, "What will you do next?" And I answered, "I haven't really thought that far ahead....it is what it is." They inquired as to whether or not I will open another store in the future and I answered "I'm not sure. For now, I just need to let it be what it is."

From here I can choose to look at it as a failure (which is the easiest thing to do) or decide it's a new beginning. I choose the latter. There are so many reasons why it was the best decision I could've possibly made but it was also the hardest thing to do. It became a question of restructuring a stressful business or recovering my misplaced life. Life won.

Now it's time to start finding answers to those daunting questions.

Not Ready Yet

I have quite a few things to say and a lot on my mind but I'm not ready yet.

I'm going through a lot right now and should probably talk about my recent decision but I'm not ready yet.

I need to find someone to blame but also face reality and take responsibility for my decisions, but I'm not ready yet.

Change is upon me and my "everyday" will be altered. For this, I have no choice but to be ready.

Wassily Kandinsky