Pop Goes The Weasel

I can't get this song out of my head! It wasn't so bad before my daughter came along when I would get stuck on a song and sing it in my head all day long, but now....if I hear "Pop Goes the Weasel" one more time...ugh!!!

And, of course I will hear it again. Over and over and over because every single toy my daughter has plays it.

Oh well, I guess this is just the beginning. She's only 5 months old after all.

Here's a few updated pics of her. I can't wait till the end of the month because I'm going to get her 6 month pics taken in her Easter get-up. Girls are so much fun!

Bath time with Daddy

Play time with Mommy

This is how she sleeps now so you can imagine how terrified I am at night. I spend most of the night checking the video monitor to make sure she's not face down. I've had to flip her over many times and check to make sure she's still breathing!

My little bug

Wow, it's been a while since I last blogged. Almost a year...that's terrible. So many things have happened since my last post. I had a beautiful baby girl named Cardin and she's the light of my life! She's already 4 months old and getting so big--well, chunky, I should say. Everyone that sees her comments on what a chunk she is...not sure how to take that but, she's the most beautiful, amazing little chunk I've ever seen! If I've learned anything in the last year it's that I LOVE being a Mom and that I suck at blogging.

Soooo....because I suck at blogging I'm thinking I may just use this as my way to update everyone with pictures of my little bug (that's her nickname. I'm so afraid she's gonna think that's her name because that's what I always call her!)

Almost 2 months old in this pic (isn't she a doll?!)

I'll post some more pics later but right now I really need to be cleaning the oven. She's sleeping and I've gotta do it while I can!

The loss of a great man

I just recently found out about the death of a man I hold close to my heart. It was such a shock and I still don't think I've fully accepted it. Mason was my friend and mentor and influenced my life tremendously. All that I know about retail, fashion, wholesale buying, and managing I owe to him. I never would've opened my own business without the training and confidence in my trade that I recieved from working under such a brilliant man.

Mason was from Damascus, Syria and grew up in the wholesale business. He always spoke of Damascus and its splendor. He made it sound like the streets were lined in gold and surrounded by magnificent buildings. He always said one day he'd take me there to see it's beauty. Mason moved to America on his own right out of High School to attend college in the States. Believe it or not his major was in Electric Engineering. He later went on to open the most successful Boutique business in NW Arkansas. I was blessed enough to work with him for 7 years as his business grew and prospered. He had such an amazing talent and I could've only dreamed to be the success he was.

He wasn't only an amazing mentor and boss but a great friend. Always happy and cracking jokes he had the best personality. Having to put in my notice and leave his side was one of the hardest moments I can remember. I was getting married and moving here, to Illinois. My husband and I were just looking at our wedding pictures and came across a picture of Mason standing tall with us at our reception. I guess that's what inspired this blog. I often wonder where I would be if my husband and I had gotten to stay in Arkansas and I continued working for him. Who knows?

A couple of years ago he was diagnosed with brain cancer and last week he lost the battle.

Mason will forever be in my heart and I will always consider him the man who changed my life. You will be missed, Mason!!

Bed Rest: Day 5

Well....still in bed.

I'm so over television...something I never thought I would say. There's just nothing good to watch during the day and by the time my shows come on at night I'm over it.

I started reading a book....again, not normal for me but I'm getting desperate.

Yesterday my husband asked me what was on my agenda for the day. He said "So, do you have a big cross-word puzzle to solve at noon?" Smart ass.

My friends have been very sweet. They've brought me meals and treats. They've all offered to go get me anything I need. In case I'm stuck here longer I'm waiting to take them up on those offers. It could get ugly if I cash those in too early and end up having an extended stay in bed. I can't solely count on my husband for help....he just doesn't get it.

My poor dogs don't understand why I'm not getting up and playing with them. My husband decided that they are officially on bed rest now too because all they do is lay around in the bedroom with me. Now I'm promoting doggie laziness and obesity. Great.

I think I'm gonna take a shower today so that's pretty exciting. This and going to the bathroom are the two things I'm allowed to do. Also exciting. Having a functioning bowel is quite the accomplishment these days.

Well, I'm afraid that's as good as it gets for now. If I do anything crazy like tackle that cross-word puzzle I'll make sure and let you know!

Long time, no blog...

So, it's been forever since I wrote anything but blogging has been the last thing on my mind these days. I'm pregnant!! Wow...still a little weird. I'm at 10 weeks an counting and thankfully past the nausea. That sure was brutal! My husband and I have been trying for a while and were getting frustrated when it was happening for everyone around us but not working for us. You just never know what's gonna happen. We had started some infertility treatments and were really hoping we wouldn't have to go too far into it...thankfully we didn't.

It's been a very different experience for me. First of all, I never thought I wanted kids. For most of my life and the majority of my marraige my husband and I didn't think we wanted children. We were so focused on our careers that we didn't have time or room for anything else. Over the last 2-3 years we began to change our minds and now it's all we want. Crazy how that happens!

Ufortunately, I've had some minor complications. I have what's called low-lying placenta previa. In most cases it fixes itself so it should be fine. Until then, I'm on bed rest. Ugh. Talk about boring. I guess I'll have plenty of time to blog now, huh? This is really no surprise since, medically, I've always done things the hard way. I don't think I've ever had any kind of medical experience where something didn't go awry. I've got this!

Until next time (probably tomorrow) I bid you adieu!

Catching Up

As I mentioned in my last blog, I went home to Arkansas a couple of weeks ago for a few days. My Aunt has just recently had bypass surgery so I went to help her out while she's recovering. It killed me every time I saw her cough or even move for that matter. It looked so painful but thankfully she is doing well and recovery seems to be going as it should.

I've been going home a lot lately because spending time with my family is so important to me and I love seeing how much my nephew has grown since I saw him last.

My sweet Nephew

But this time I got another bonus. My best girlfriend from high school was also in town and so we made plans to get together with our other two friends and catch up. We had so much fun! I loved getting to know who they are today but I was so pleased to see that they haven't changed a bit! It was always the four of us together in school. Especially me and Erin. You would never see one of us without the other. We had a blast getting to know each other again. I'm so proud of who they have all become.

Kym, Becky, Me, and Erin
Project Graduation 1994

February 2010 (Didn't get the pic taken before Becky left)

Great memories from High School with these girls:

1. Scorching in the sun at Cheerleading Camp
2. Hanging out in Kym's gym behind her house practicing and gossiping (oh, if those walls could talk!)
3. Breaking my tail bone from endless falls off of pyramids and tumbling spills
4. Decorating the boys sweaty, stinky locker rooms before games
5. Watching Kym tumble at Basketball games
6. Watching Becky kick butt at Powder Puff games
7. Listening to Erin talk about her Dooney and Burke bag

Oh, those were the days!!!

Not what I thought

I guess since I have nothing better to do at work, I'll use my time here to write about how I have nothing to do. I was really excited about this job for about two weeks. During those weeks, I was attempting to train myself and learn about the furniture business. I considered it a new opportunity and hoped it would be a stepping stone to a new exciting time in my life. Not so much.

After week 2, I started to hear all the gossip going on around me and learned that things aren't going well for the company. We have since been taken over by corporate and the previous owner, the one who hired me a month ago, is no longer part of the company. All agreements and contracts I had with him are now null and void and we are officially under corporate control. Living with the by-the-book-with-no-room-for-change-and-please-keep-your-own-individualism-to-yourself-while-your-at-work attitude. Fun stuff.

I've now lost my salary, my at-work freedom, and if I stay, my dignity. Right? Hmmm...what to do? Honestly, I don't see the store staying open for much longer so I've decided to stay here and work fewer hours until they close their doors. Might as well. At least it's a little money for a while. I can use my free time to look for yet another job. Ugh!!

That's my first frustration. My second is that this week I've discovered that pretty much EVERYONE I KNOW is pregnant. My friends and I are all trying to get pregnant right now and it has worked for everyone but me. As a matter of fact, it only took ONE TRY for all of them. Meanwhile, my husband and I have been trying longer and nothing. Another reason it makes me angry is because I have been married for 8 years and they've all been married for about a minute!! Haven't my husband and I put in the time?? Haven't we earned the right to have children first???!!! Ok, I know that's not how it works but still. Can you tell I'm frustrated?

Well that's my bitch for the day. I'm trying to channel my patience this week. The good news is that I get to go home to Arkansas and see my family tomorrow. Woo hoo!!

Happy Days

My sister tagged me to list 10 things that make me happy so here it goes...



1. Having the day off on a rainy, gloomy day. I love cuddling up on the couch and listening to a thunderstorm.



2. A clean house. A clean house makes me feel comfortable and cozy. Although it's rare because my dogs drool and shed constantly. I would literally have to vaccum, mop, and dust every day to really feel like my house is clean.



3. Seeing results after I finish a project. I'm a very visual person. I love to clean, organize, and decorate because of the feeling it gives me when I'm done and I get to step back and look at the finished product.



4. Spending time with my family. Living so far away from all of them is hard on me. Time together is cherished.



5. Getting a compliment from a complete stranger. It's not something that happens often and it's not something that they owe me so I know it's sincere.



6. Laughing. The best medicine ever!



7. Singing. If I need to be up-lifted all I have to do is put in one of my favorite CD's and sing away.



8. Sleeping. I have never been a morning person and sleeping-in is my favorite thing to do. I used to let people make me feel bad about it. They would tell me that I've "slept the day away" or "I'll have plenty of time to sleep when I'm dead" but now I don't let it get to me. I'm ok with loving sleep so they should be too.

9. My dogs. I've never not had a dog. I just love animals and my dogs are like my children. It's such a good feeling to come home to such a loving being. No matter what, they're always happy to see me and they always put a smile on my face.

10. My husband. Even after 10 years I still can't wait to see him walk through the door.

New Beginnings

I'm already very grateful for 2010. I know I shouldn't jump the gun but, I have a good feeling.

My year started off at a friends house where a bunch of us got together in our pajamas and played games while welcoming the new year. Just after midnight we played a game called Left, Right, Center that involves betting and the pot grew to $72. I won!!! Talk about a good start to the new year!

We spent the next day with friends eating left-overs and watching movies (I don't recommend "All About Steve" with Sandra Bullock....what was she thinking?!!). Very relaxing.

The following day my girlfriends and I went to look at a new women's shelter that is opening in our home town. The home is for pregnant women that have no where to go and no one to turn to. They house these women for their full pregnancy and the 3 months following while educating them and helping them to get on their feet. The goal is to help them become self sufficient so they can support themselves and become productive members of society without either going back into a bad environment or drawing welfare forever. My girls and I are sponsoring a room. We get full reign on decorating and stocking the main bathroom that will be shared by 3 women. It was very inspirational to go in and see the home and talk with the woman who is heading up the project. Some people amaze me! Anyway, this was a great day because we get to give back by setting these women up for success....it's a good feeling.

Then, 2 days later, I started my new job. This has been quite a feat for me. Last year left me doubting myself and my abilities. After I closed my business I had no idea what I wanted to do. My husband asked me continuously what I wanted to do next and for months I couldn't answer him. I realize now it's because I was in mourning. It's hard to replace something like that. Especially if you've dedicated 4 years of your life to it.

But, I did it and I really think I'm gonna enjoy it. It's only been two days and I have A LOT more training to do but it's different and new and fresh. Just what I needed in 2010!

So, as I sit here on my new laptop (the new job was a great excuse to get one!) excited about my new opportunities I'm thinking this is the year of new beginnings. Bring it on!!!

Hopeful for a Happy Tomorrow

Alright, enough already! I've officially had it with the year 2009. Enough bad news, enough sadness. My family and friends have suffered plenty. I don't want to go into everything or elaborate on how many things have gone wrong I just want to SCREAM....THAT'S ENOUGH!!!!

I'm actually scared that there's still 23 days left.

Attack of the Christmas Tree

I LOVE CHRISTMAS!! In my opinion it's the best time of the year. People are happier, families come together (and I get to go home), and I get to do one of my favorite things....shop! I was a very lucky child. I grew up in a very loving household. My parents really did Christmas big and made it special for my sister and I. Therefore, today this time of year makes me feel all cozy inside.

Another one of my favorite things to do is decorate. I redecorate my house for every season and every holiday. Got that from my Mom. My husband and I built a house last year that was way too big for the two of us so this Christmas it's taken me 3 days to get everything done. Wreaths and garland are hanging, tabletops are overflowing with shiny, glittering nic nacs, and stockings are hanging from the mantel. As of Wednesday everything was done but the tree. Unfortunately, my tree has to sit up on some boxes to keep the branches from dragging the floor. This stinking tree is going in the garage sale next year....it's time for a new one. Anyway, I can't lift the huge thing and my husband was out of town for a few days so there it sat. No ornaments, no lights, no ribbon. Waiting for my husband to come home and lift it onto the boxes.

If you know me, you know I don't like to wait around for other people to get things done. I'm a no nonsense girl. A sense of urgency is key for me. Make a decision and move on! That's my motto. Anyway, I couldn't wait any longer. Surely I could lift the tree. Who needs a man??!!

....so if I just tilt the tree a little and slide the first box under, then I can lift and tilt the other way to slide the other box under. Easy, peasy....

Not so much. Just as I tilted the tree I heard some rustling and looked up. I forgot that I had left the star on the top and now it was tumbling toward my face. Please notice the multi-pointed star in the picture. One point hit directly below my eye and cut my face. I am so lucky to still have my right eye!! The other points hit my head and left me bleeding under my hair. At least no one can't see those injuries.

I guess that's what I get for being impatient. At least now it's done....but not without a little pain and suffering.

Hold on tight, you're in for a bumpy ride!

So, I have to tell you about my Thanksgiving. My husband and I recapped the whole thing with our friends the other day and realized how crazy we sounded. It's almost as if we're making the whole thing up. Unfortunately, we're not.

Because I'm aware that some of the family may possibly read this blog and would be upset if I aired their dirty laundry, I'll try to use discretion. I said try....can't make any promises.

My wonderful (and thankfully NORMAL) husband and I go to his Mother's house every year for Thanksgiving. We agreed when we got married that Thanksgiving would be with his family and Christmas would be with mine. I don't compromise on Christmas. It's mine. Anyway, that's beside the point.....back to Thanksgiving.

My husband comes from a VERY large family so it's always an eventful holiday. He has 5 brothers and sisters, 13 Aunts and Uncles, and 40 first cousins. There's never a dull moment.
This year in particular was one for the books.

Let's start with Aunt D. Apparently, she has died 3 times since we saw her last. We were not aware of this fact. Only that she has had heart problems. Luckily, my husband, sporting a sweat suit, along with 2 others were there to revive her and bring her back to life.....according to her....while she was being revived from over medication....during her hallucination. Enough said.

Moving on to Aunt M. Fresh out of the clink hanging with the family at Thanksgiving. Asking around for Xanax. I'm gonna stop there.

This brings us to Cousin J. Who just stole $10,000 from Uncle K. And is now MIA.

Next, came the first trip to the ER. It involved my niece who, thankfully ended up being ok, but got quite the show in the ER watching a woman projectile vomit all over the floor. This threw my sister-in-law into a tizzy because she hates hospitals. She was frazzled all night. Then came the second trip to the ER. This involved my other sister-in-law who was having pains from her appendectomy surgery the week before. Come to find out that she's about 4 weeks pregnant....not the best way to find out.

Now let's talk about the arm wrestling incident. This is my favorite. Unfortunately, I instigated the whole thing but it was pretty darn funny! I always have fun watching my husband and his 3 brothers compete. They always have to out-do each other. Therefore, when I suggested an arm wrestling tournament I knew they'd jump all over it. It would consist of 4 rounds starting with the youngest....he always gets screwed. Who knew the antique table they were wrestling on wouldn't hold?? Got through 2 rounds before we heard the crack.....their Dad was not happy. I've never seen so much finger-pointing in my life!

The last two stories are too delicate to discuss. One involves an affair and the other involves the third and final trip to the ER. My sister-in-law went back in for more pain and unfortunately is still there 4 days later. We pray that they can help her without harming the baby. Only time will tell.

I'm glad I was able to share my family's insanity. Like I said, there's never a dull moment. But since I'm the one that actually has to live it I get the movie rights....don't even think about stealing it!

A Reason to Write

Well, I guess it's time. Time to start writing again. I haven't posted anything in a few months because I just haven't had much to say. I could tell you about my day but my day's don't really consist of anything exciting. I no longer have a job, I have no kids, and I'm still not quite sure what I want to do with myself. This leaves me at a place of frustration and uncertainty. I know I'll figure it out eventually so in the meantime I'll just vent to those who are willing to read about it.

But............today I had some entertainment!

My nieces and nephew came to stay with my husband and I for a night on their way to Arkansas for Thanksgiving. We are a good halfway point between Ohio and Arkansas so they, with their other Aunt (my sister-in-law), stopped here in St. Louis and stayed with us last night. The three girls are 6, 8, and 14 and my nephew is also 14.

I always have so much fun when I see them but after wards I'm completely exhausted! This time not only was I exhausted but so were my dogs. Neeman, my Lab, is getting older and has arthritis. He loved having the kids in the house but it was hard on him. He got all the hugging, petting, tail tugging, and treats he could possibly need for a lifetime. He goes by Norman now as well....the kids renamed him. Currently, he is in the corner asleep where I'm sure he'll be until tomorrow. Lucy, my Rat Terrier, has officially been traumatized. From the moment they got here yesterday until the moment they left today Lucy has been either chased or held constantly by one of the children. The look on her face when they would pick her up was priceless! Oh, the terror!

It's quite an experience to suddenly have 4 children thrust upon you. So much energy and creativity! They weren't here an hour before my walk-in pantry became a "General Store". We have a dish of change on the nearby table and that became the currency needed to buy food from the "General Store." My Nephew was the clerk and the girls had a blast paying him (my money) to buy snacks (my food) from the store (my pantry) that even I wasn't allowed to enter. Hmmm...what's wrong with this picture? It was very entertaining for an E-N-T-I-R-E 2 D-A-Y-S....a neverending game.

Knock, knock..."Mister store clerk. I'm hungry. I'd like to re-buy those Pringles I bought at the grocery store the other day. Thanks."

It's also interesting what goes through your mind when you discover one of them has been missing for a while. Huh...."have you guys seen your sister in the last 15 minutes?" Oh goodness. Where is she????!!! "Oh nevermind....I found her in the kitchen cabinet. Did you guys know she thinks your still playing hide-n-seek?"

The other times I would find them in my master bathroom using MY toilet. What is that? Why must they all poop in ONLY my bathroom??!!

We had a blast. It went by way too fast but we get to see them again in a few days for Thanksgiving. Until then, I better rest up!

Home

I've mentioned before that I was born and raised in Arkansas. This is home to me. Even though I've lived in Illinois for almost 8 years now, Arkansas will always be home. My entire family is still there and I just know that someday, my future will be there too.

I get to go home tomorrow. I always look forward to these times. When the trip back to the South nears and I have to rush around getting ready for the 6 hour trek. I don't even mind the drive because I know my destination will make me smile.

This time I don't only want to be there but I need to be there. My family has fallen on some hard times lately and I need to help them through it. I hate not being there the minute something happens...not being able to rush to their side when bad news smacks them across the face. It's a guilt I've carried with me for 8 years that I can do nothing about. At least not right now.

Just to name a few problems my Mom just found out she has diabetes and now has to change her way of life. Eat differently, prick her finger regularly, and exercise (something no one in my family is a fan of). This is just after she's come off of a not-so-nice surgery that kept her in pain for quite a while. Another thing I wasn't able to be there for. My sister is a whole other story. Her hard times have come in droves. I won't even bother to name the smaller issues they've confronted this summer because soon after the big shit hit the fan. A few weeks after my sister's husband lost his job she found out she was pregnant. Another couple of weeks later, on her birthday, she lost the baby.

My sister has always been my best friend. Even though she's older I've always felt the need to protect her. Maybe it's just a sister thing. Knowing she's going through pain absolutely kills me. Burns me to the core. There's nothing I can do but at least being there would help. This is why I need to go home.

The year 2009 has been a rough one for my whole family, including me. It seems to be shaping up to be another 1997.....BAD year for us! That year my lung collapsed and I had to have major surgery, my parents got divorced after we found out my Dad was having an affair, my Grandmothers house burned down, and on the very last day of the year my Great-Grandmother passed away. It was almost like God was saying, "Don't celebrate yet, there's still a few more hours left for things to go badly. There ya go....deal with that!" Bad year!

So I'm headed home tomorrow. To see my sweet Nephew, Max, and celebrate his first birthday, to be a shoulder my sister can cry on, and to help my Mom stick to her new diet and work-out regimen. No matter what goes wrong there's just nothing as wonderful as being with family!

Southern Hospitality

I've lived in Illinois now for 7 1/2 years. That's 7 1/2 years longer than I ever expected. My husband and I moved here in November of 2001 when his job transferred us to this area....this area being O'Fallon, IL which is about 20 minutes from downtown St. Louis. Good place to be if you don't want to live in the big city and would prefer to skip all that crazy traffic yet, still close enough to be able to attend big city events like baseball games, concerts, and art shows. Anyway, like I said I never actually thought we'd be here for this long but life happens and here we are...still.

I've actually gotten used to the area and I've had the opportunity to make some amazing friends. Friends that would be EXTREMELY hard to leave if and when we decide to move back home to Arkansas. Since I've gotten to know the area better I'm more comfortable and it's really grown on me. I owned a business here for 3 1/2 years which gave me the opportunity to meet a lot of people and learn more about the town I live in. There are still a lot of things I miss about Arkansas that I don't find here but for the most part I really enjoy my life here now. I just have one complaint that I don't think I'll EVER get used to.....the lack of Southern Hospitality.

When your born and raised in the South, especially in a town like Fayetteville, AR, you get spoiled with polite conversation and encounters with kind, agreeable people. As a matter of fact, you come to expect certain things. For example, people smiling and waving for no reason, employees in local shops being helpful and all around pleasant, and hearing "hi ya'll" every time you turn the corner. Nice, cordial people being nice and cordial for no reason at all. Just because.

I miss these people. Not to say that I don't have good people in my life here because I do. As I said before I have amazing friends (to all of my friends reading this please don't be offended...of course I'm not talking about you). It's the people you don't know that can really get under your skin. In the Mid-West if they don't know you, they don't see any point in wasting a smile on you. Or, if they are nice to you up front I've learned that it's not necessarily because they want to be but because they need to be for selfish reasons. Many a time I've been fooled by the up-front-nice-guy that later turned on me. It's baffling. All the sudden it's like that girl on The Exorcist...head's spin and an evil comes out that you didn't know existed. Ok, maybe I'm exaggerating a teeny bit but I'm always a little thrown by how quickly someone here has stabbed me in the back without batting an eyelash. I guess that's just what happens in business. At least in the South we mask it with charm and civility leaving the victim with a false sense of accomplishment. We wouldn't want them to walk away hating us afterall! (said with a southern accent)

Having a couple of friends from the South helps. They understand how I feel about certain things and we can easily talk about how different things are around here. For example, my friend from Alabama understands SEC football and how it's actually a religion in the South. Not a sport. People schedule things like weddings and parties around football games. If you plan your wedding on the same day as an Arkansas Razorback football game then that's your problem when no one shows up. Comply with the rules of the South or get over it! I also have a friend from Texas. Every event we go to with the girls seems to reveal some sort of Mid-Western ritual we've never seen. We just look at our other friends and say, "We don't do that in the South" (tip head and stick nose in the air here). At this point I should just consider myself lucky that my Mid-West girlfriends haven't disowned me considering I always talk about how great everything is below the Mason-Dixon line.

Thanks girls for putting up with my Southern banter!! Love ya'll (yes, I said ya'll)!!

My Daily Entertainment

I'm compelled to tell a story about my sweet boy, Neeman. Dog not child. No matter, he's mine, he's adorable, and for those that know him know what a gentle giant he is. Neeman is our yellow Lab and he has no idea how big he is. I can't say he's the smartest dog around but his personality more than makes up for his lack of intelligence.

The other day my husband came home from work and, as always, was assaulted by the dogs at the door. Although sometimes it can be painful, I consider this to be the best feeling in the world. Being greeted everyday with such enthusiasm and warmth. Unconditional love and appreciation that just radiates from their furry faces and wagging tails. As far as the painful part, I admittedly have my share of bruises covering my legs from these welcoming attacks.

Anyway, that particular day Jason noticed something was different. Before being attacked he not only heard the gallop of Neeman's large paws nearing but also a banging and pounding of something ramming into the wall with each step Neeman took. Now maybe I should preface this with the fact that Labrador's get very hot in the summer. They're big and have a really thick undercoat so the "dog days of summer" is no joke when it comes to this loving breed. For this reason, Neeman likes to sleep right on top of the air conditioning vents to stay cool.

Back to the story. As soon as Neeman gets near, Jason sees something swinging from his neck. At first glance, Jason is thinking maybe I tied something to his collar as a gift or chore for him (most likely the latter). This isn't such a stretch because we both have been known to use Neeman for little things around the house. For example, running outside to get the newspaper or going to the bottom of the stairs outside to fetch a toy he left in the yard. He is also always willing to transport things from me to Jason or vice versa when one of us is on the couch and the other on the chaise. After all he's got to earn his keep.

Well upon further investigation, and after getting the dog to calm down, Jason discovered one of our floor vents hanging from Neeman's neck! I so wish I had been there! His dog tags had somehow gotten twisted down into the vent and he now was wearing it as a necklace. The part about it that I love the most is that it went completely unnoticed by the dog himself. He was just so happy that Daddy was home the fact that a heavy, metal object was dangling from his collar didn't even phase him!

So in honor of Neeman here are a few pictures I'd like to share....if only I'd gotten a picture of the incident!

Unnerved

One of the down sides to not having a job....I've noticed the news is on ALL THE TIME. I keep my TV on pretty much all day and because of this I tend to see the news about 3 times a day. I don't necessarily watch the whole newscast, I just hear bits and pieces as I pass by while doing chores around the house. Unfortunately, this is enough to be unnerved by what I hear. It seems to me that there have been more shootings in the past few months than usual (I hate that there is even a "usual"). As we speak the news anchor is talking about the shooting at the Holocaust Museum in Washington D.C. A couple of days ago we had a shooting at a local, and very popular bar downtown. The week before that a police officer was shot and just last night a teenager was at the park and was shot in the neck.

Perhaps the one that hit closest to home involved a man I didn't even know. It impacted me because the victim was a very good friend of some of my good friends. I never met him but it was made clear to me what a good man he was because my friends all loved him so. He was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. A victim of circumstance. The bullets weren't meant for him but for others he was with. For this act of cruel revenge he gave his life. The pain my friends have had to bear for the past week is tragic.

What is wrong with people? It makes me sick to think about what could be going through the mind of everyone I pass on the street. Or for that matter, the neighbor down the street that I don't know well. It's no wonder so many people in our world live in constant fear. A fear that can be so encompassing they can't leave their homes. I hate to be such a downer but sometimes I just can't bear to hear the news. I don't want to imagine a world so vile that stepping out of my front door is more of a chance I take than an opportunity to savor. Very sad.

I've gotta get a job because the news is really bringing me down!

Unwelcome Guests

I've noticed a lot of talk about Spring lately. People blogging about the beauty of it, people mentioning the welcome warmth of it on their Facebook status, and of course the weather people on television taking credit for it (what is that all about anyway? I actually heard our local meteorologist saying we could 'thank him' for the upcoming beautiful weather. Weird.).

Anyway, I love Spring as much as the next person. It breathes life into us and gives us new hope that we can tackle those unfinished projects or start new ones. It revitalizes us and gets us out of the house offering a new, fresh outlook on things. But.....it brings with it some VERY unwelcome guests. Wasps. As strange as it sounds they are the cause of my dread each Spring. I have a fear of wasps that is unrivaled. I don't know where it came from but there is something about a small stinging insect that has the ability to fly quickly and out of reach that unnerves me. Now, I've mentioned before that I'm a big animal lover. I believe all living things big and small should be respected and treated valuable. As part of this belief I try to avoid harming any living being so, for example, when I see a spider I try to catch it and throw it outside. I do this with most all insects. But a wasp I will spray or squash as quickly as possible without a second thought.

My friends and family make fun of me when they see my reaction to one of these winged warriors. I jump and run inside as fast as possible and just peer out the window until it's either gone or dead. The amazing thing is my ability to see one from a distance. It doesn't matter where I am or what the situation, if a wasp is anywhere in the general vicinity I will see it long before it gets near and follow it closely while quietly and tactically planning my escape. My husband thinks I'm crazy. Half of the time I warn him of an incoming stinger he never even sees it. And if he does he knows to just wait for me to flip out and run before he can actually do anything about it.

A few days ago I noticed that they seem to be coming in droves so I let him know that we may have a wasp problem this Spring. He wasn't concerned. He just attributed it to my paranoia that all wasps will eventually take over the world and shrugged it off. Then, I heard my next door neighbor talking about it and that they recently had to have someone come out and spray. I was so happy to hear this because now I have proof and reason to call the insect people without my husband questioning my sanity. I better call tomorrow or this could be a long summer of ducking and running!

My Faithful Followers

I've had a few friends tell me I need to write more because they enjoy reading my blog. You have no idea how much I appreciate this. Unfortunately, I seem to be suffering from some sort of writer's block. Every since March 21st (closing day) I haven't had much to say. I thought all kinds of emotions would be flowing out of me onto my blog but the exact opposite has happened. I'm a bit numb. For this, I apologize.

This too shall pass.....



Wassily Kandinsky

A New Beginning

"It is what it is." I have found this to be my new favorite expression. My husband and I have just gone through what one might call a "life change". We have each had to make a note of our monetary value, add up our IOU's, and make some business decisions that we didn't want to make. It's never fun finding out what you're worth (or not worth) on paper.

After much deliberation, I have had to close my business. A dream I had for years. A career in the only industry I know. My husband also had to stop operations in his franchise. We opened two businesses together in the same year and closed them together 3 1/2 years later. Luckily, we are a good team and without each other I don't know that we would've survived it all.

It was unfortunate that he had to stop operations but for him that's all it was. He quit working the territory and that was it. I don't mean to down play his situation in any way because with any business closure comes the feeling of failure. I just had a different experience than he did. I had to close a brick and mortar store and it was a very public event. Customers cried, I cried, vendors said how sorry they were, and friends looked at me with such sorrow.

They asked, "How are you handling it?" And I answered, "I'll be ok...it is what it is." They asked, "What will you do next?" And I answered, "I haven't really thought that far ahead....it is what it is." They inquired as to whether or not I will open another store in the future and I answered "I'm not sure. For now, I just need to let it be what it is."

From here I can choose to look at it as a failure (which is the easiest thing to do) or decide it's a new beginning. I choose the latter. There are so many reasons why it was the best decision I could've possibly made but it was also the hardest thing to do. It became a question of restructuring a stressful business or recovering my misplaced life. Life won.

Now it's time to start finding answers to those daunting questions.